Taking the Higher Road

In the last several months we have been frustrated with some bad neighbors. We currently live in the top unit of a condo, and the neighbors below us, who are renting from the owners recently moved in, about 4 months ago. Wow, it seems like a lot longer than that. Anyway, there has been one issue after another with them. It all started on the day they moved in. First it was smoking on the balcony, which is against the covenants here, as well as a city law. I went outside and politely let him know that it was against the covenants. He apologized and said he did not know. Within a couple of weeks they left their kids' toys and bikes out where it was a hazard - at the bottom of the stairs, in the breezeways, etc. Of note, there is a regulation regarding this as it is against the Disabilities Act. The second issue is, is that I was not seeing them at the bottom of the stairway and tripping on them with my infant in my arms. I really did not want to have anything broken, nor did I want my child to be hurt from a potential fall. And this is where it all started. I gave them a simple note, letting them be aware of the regulation and also mentioning my tripping on them. How I wish they could have just said "sorry, we'll take care of the problem" and leave it there. Not more than 5 minutes had passed and I got a fist hammering on my door. I honestly should not have opened it, yes, in hindsight, I should not have at all. The man yelled at me for the letter. He was angry, because I believe he felt he was being singled out in the letter, though all the other neighbors here already know the CC&Rs to the condo community. He also could not believe that in the 3 weeks time that they had lived there that I could have tripped on any of their bikes or toys. I so wanted to walk him outside and show him, but I knew that he knew better, he just didn't want to take responsibility and he tried to put the blame on my shoulders. I would have been fine with the last of that, but ever since then, we have gotten hammering knocks from these neighbors almost daily telling us that our kids are being too loud, jumping too much, or their crying is bothering them etc. We teach our children to have soft feet, to respect those that live around us, and they do. However, there will be times that they will have some noisy play, not throughout the day of course, but it would be unrealistic to keep them quiet 100% of the time. These are daily living noises. We are not loud during the city noise ordinances, unless of course, one of them is crying for one reason or another - but that is part of having children. There are other issues that are excessive noise issues from their unit, but we have not complained to them, although after the hours, have been tempted to call the police. The issues are ones that have affected our entire condo building, as well as other issues that I will not discuss here that have affected others in our condo community as well.

My frustrations levels went through the roof, and it was affecting how I felt, my overall feeling about how life currently felt, how I was as a wife and a mother, and probably a friend too.

Over a period of time, I started to be more aware of God reaching out to me during this frustration, and trying to help me take the "higher road." I will be perfectly honest in saying that I was feeling like I was not about to take the higher road because I was angry with them, because I was sick and tired of what we were dealing with on a daily basis, because I just didn't at the time feel it was in me to do it, I just didn't want to.

But, I noticed that my patience levels on a daily basis was dwindling into nothing. I noticed that I felt like a dark cloud every day followed me where ever I went. I was starting to more and more look at the negative vs. the many positive things in my life. I was being dragged down into a hole that I knew if I didn't do something about it soon, I would maybe be hiding in there for some time.

One of my favorite quotes, and I'm not sure who it is by is that when we listen and then follow God, we will always be right. How comforting that is to me. We can't go wrong.

I talked to my friend on my On Wings of Faith group and they encouraged me to take this step. I was totally feeling out of my comfort zone, but I don't think it really was out of my comfort zone, but that Satan simply did not want me to climb into the hole that I had chosen to get myself in. The moment I decided to take the higher road with these neighbors, is when I could literally feel my spirit lift to heights I hadn't been at in awhile. Like a spiritual bandaid. I knew that what I was doing was right. A member on On Wings of Faith (Melissa) told me that I could not choose how they responded, but that I would be blessed. All of the members on On Wings of Faith encouraged me to do this, and that God would make note of my efforts to make some peace.

So, I made some chocolate chip oatmeal cookies and also wrote a little note. In this note, I explained where we were coming from, where our frustrations stemmed from. I also apologized for a bit of an argument I got in with one of the neighbors. And I asked them if there was a better time for my children to have their louder playtime during the day. I have not yet heard back from them. But, it is much better than the almost daily hammering of our door for noises that are daily living noises. We'll see what comes of this. For now, however, my spirit has been renewed, a breath of fresh air has made life more sweet and less bitter.